20 Dad Jokes to Distract Your Friends While Studying

July 17, 2016
By Nick Fleming

Procrastinating is a great thing — if you can annoy your friends at the same time then you’re kicking goals. Here are our favourite dad jokes to distract your friends whilst studying. Don’t be afraid to add these to your everyday repertoire

1. Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food colouring. The doctor says I’m OK, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.

2. Did you hear about the Italian chef with a terminal illness? He pasta-way.

3. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.

4. I relish the fact that you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup to me.

5. I’ve decided to make some top secret modifications to my car. **Spoiler Alert**

6. I once heard a joke about amnesia, but I forgot how it goes.

7. I couldn’t work out how to put on my seat belt. Then it clicked.

8. I feel sorry for shopping trolleys, they’re always getting pushed around.

9. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork but the heavier ones need a crane.

10. I knew a woman who owned a taser, man was she stunning!

20-Dad-Jokes-to-Distract-Your-Friends-While-Studying

11. If towels could tell jokes they would probably have a dry sense of humour.

12. Two hats were hanging on a rack in the hallway. One hat says to the other, ‘You stay here, I’ll go on a head.’

13. Broken puppets for sale. No strings attached.

14. What is a thesaurus’s favourite dessert? Synonym buns

15. Two peanuts were walking through a tough neighbourhood and one of them was a-salted.

16. A rule of grammar: double negatives are a no-no

17. I was going to buy a book on phobias, but I was afraid it wouldn’t help me.

18. I did a theatrical performance about puns. Really it was just a play on words.

19. Why was the dwarf doctor so annoyed? He just had really short patients.

20. There was a big paddle sale at the boat store. It was quite an oar deal.